I don't know where I'm headed.

I hate my body. I’m so sick of having curves, of having big breasts, sick of having elephant hips, sick of my jiggly arms, sick of being the fat friend, sick of my thick thighs, sick of turning my head when ever someone says the word “fat”, sick of not eating in public because people will think that I’m a cow, sick of my pants saying “size 14”, sick of my mom calling me fat, sick of hearing the thin girls complain about being fat, sick of guys not being attracted to me, sick of my snort-laugh, sick of my big ears, sick of my hair, sick of my acne, sick of my stretchmarks, sick of nose, sick of guys being intimidated by me because I’m smart, sick of having to unscramble words in my head, sick of being the punchline to jokes, sick of having an alcoholic mother, sick of having a deadbeat father, sick of my best guy friend ignoring me, sick of having to try so hard to be smart, sick of not being able to ever feel rested, sick of not being able to get out of bed, sick of the monsters in my head, sick of never being good enough, sick of this depression, sick of living.